Discovering Strength Through Adversity
I was asked to give a eulogy at my friend Kevin’s funeral. My close friend, a husband, father, and well-respected man in his community, had passed away in his early 40s. I could not stop crying. I am not a man who cries. Growing up, I had been the rock for my family, as I am now for my wife and children, my employees, and co-workers. I. Don’t. Cry. I get through adversity and move on. So why was this request to deliver a eulogy for a man I deeply respected causing me so much distress?
I headed to my favorite reflection spot and did some praying. What should I say for the eulogy? Why was I finding it hard to find words to praise someone who needed to be praised? And the answer came to me. It washed over me. Kevin’s son, now left without a father, was about the same age I was when my father passed away from esophageal cancer. I recognized that I was reliving the pain of losing my own father, and my desire to provide guidance for a younger me in the form of Kevin’s son was making the writing task ahead of me much more emotional.
Adversity can be sudden, dramatic, and life-altering, or it can come in subtly, causing day-to-day existence to be challenging. Over the 30 years since my father’s passing, I have stepped up to be the person I thought my father would want me to be. My mother had to become both father and mother simultaneously and was a single breadwinner with three young children. My younger siblings watched my mother and me and became adults on their own. We all survived and, dare I say, thrived, despite having limited funds and resources.
How did we do it? I wanted to pass on that wisdom to the young children and wife who would be sitting in the front row at the funeral, left without their father and husband. Once I started writing with the lessons learned approach, the words came pouring out of me. I have tremendous admiration and respect for my mother for raising three children, sending us to Catholic private school, and then putting us all through college, taking few handouts from private or governmental organizations. I am so proud of my brother, who earned his Army aviator wings and was deployed three times to Afghanistan. My sister follows in my mother’s footsteps as a critical care nurse and is now caregiver for our aging mother with dementia. I am lucky to have married a woman who understands me and gives our family her fervent support.
When I shared my thoughts with the congregation at the funeral, people approached me that day and over the weeks following, commenting on how much the eulogy spoke to them. It gave them visions of how they could get through their challenges, how they could overcome and thrive beyond whatever adversities they were facing.
I recognize that my father’s passing at a young age, leaving three children with their mother, no money to speak of, and no role model for fatherly love and guidance, is not the equivalent of other tragedies in other families. But, as my friend pointed out to me, if you got a group of people in a room and you asked everyone to write down their challenges and problems, put all the papers in the center, and you got to exchange your problems with someone else, most people would take their own problem back. We never know what anyone else is facing. And whatever you are facing feels as pressing and overwhelming as any problem anyone else might have. The bottom line: it’s YOUR problem.
So, how do we move beyond adversity and thrive? How do we get to a place where we face our challenges with a positive attitude and less stress because we know that we will get through this? Alone or as a family, getting to the other side is what we are meant to do. We have all heard that God put on this earth with a mission, a lesson to be learned. I believe that every challenge that comes our way is meant to teach us something or help us move toward fulfilling our personal mission.
If you’re feeling stuck, need something to kick you up to another level, or need to find your purpose, I hope the 8 steps in my book will help guide you to where you want to be. Here is a taste of what we cover below.
The 8-Step Process:
Affirm, “I’m not a victim” – You are not defined by what has happened to you. Shift your mindset from victimhood to empowerment.
Accept adversity as a necessity – Challenges are part of life’s fabric and serve as opportunities for growth.
Develop a self-sufficient mindset – Rely on yourself for strength and resourcefulness in tough times.
Establish a routine – Structure provides stability and helps you regain control over your life.
Learn and do almost anything – Believe in your ability to learn and grow, no matter the challenge.
Help the person next to you – Offering assistance to others brings perspective and reduces feelings of isolation.
Use prayer as a gateway between panic and peace – Spiritual practices can provide comfort and clarity.
Share your story and mentor others – Your journey through adversity can inspire and guide others who face similar struggles.
You have a purpose, and if this book helps you discover or rediscover it, then my effort will be rewarded.
You can get a copy below:
Chris Greco is a dedicated father, husband, and CEO known for his faith, underdog grit, and perseverance. His boundless energy and core values approach have been instrumental in uniting organizations to achieve goals that once seemed unattainable.
Beyond his professional achievements, Chris serves as a Board Director, advisor to growth-stage companies, volunteer, and keynote speaker. He resides in Kansas City with his wife, two children, and their rescue dog.
